dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
