if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
