I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
