we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
