it wasn't lemon gatorade
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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