I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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