Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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