let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
His hands were made for my vagina.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
