youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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