its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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