your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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