Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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