yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
