some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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