Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
