She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
