so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
