I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
