3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
