If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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