it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
