You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
