Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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