Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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