i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
barbara walters just said penis...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
