dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
