Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
