some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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