just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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