Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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