If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize