508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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