when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
