So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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