Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We have started to decorate penises.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
