Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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