Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize