bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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