so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
