i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
