She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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