the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
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My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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