Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
