I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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