Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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