I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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