Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
