oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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