Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This beer is not sobering me up at all
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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