OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
