Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
