Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
