i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
