He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
