That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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