I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize