Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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