goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
