You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
