george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
