my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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